Northern European Cityscapes Cruise
Saturday 18th – Saturday 25th May 2019
Day 1
Boarding day at Southampton
Steve’s parents arrived in plenty of time(!) to get us to the cruise terminal. When we arrived we gave our bags to a man at the drop off point and headed through to board. All smug that we had done everything required for check in online we headed for the expedited boarding queue…only to discover that so many people had done the same the security queues were longer for us than for the people who hadn’t already checked in!
We were on board not long after 11am and couldn’t get access to our state room until 1pm so we had a couple of hours to explore and get some lunch. To say we were overwhelmed and unsure of what to do was an understatement! There was no information or guidance on anything, there was a huge assumption that you knew what you were doing..so Guest services became our new friends, although we very quickly discovered that if you don’t like the answer to a question just ask another member of staff because you’ll get a different answer!
After booking the escape room for the following day and finding out what the boundaries of our deluxe drink package and unlimited food package were (or so we thought…) we started exploring the ship. So much to see and find, we were sure that come day 6 we would find a whole part of the ship that we had missed!
Lunch at Johnny Rockets started rather confusingly when we discovered with the packages we had we could have any food or drink included but bizarrely we couldn’t have anything to drink unless we ordered food to go with it! A very scrummy chicken salad, a burger, fries, onion rings and two of the sweetest most chocolatey milkshakes later and we were full and ready for more exploring. Oh not to forget the random Stayin’ Alive dance put on by the waiting staff mid way through lunch!
We found our room (state room 3606), settled in and like magic when we went to leave our suitcases were waiting for us outside the room. Well, Steve’s were, Vikki’s suitcase was outside a different room up the corridor in one direction and her rucksack outside a different room in the other direction!
Before setting off from Southampton there was a mandatory fire drill that required everyone on board to go to their designated drill point. Clearly the word mandatory means different things to different people and many were just wandering up despite being late – didn’t fancy their chances in a real emergency. Also who knew how hard it was to get people into single file lines!
After the fire drill Vikki made quite an entrance back into the ship by falling over the door frame and that was before we had our first drink on board and discovered the strength of Royal Caribbean measures. Steve then befriended guest services again to work out the dinner reservations – turns out the app saying we had a 6.30pm dinner reservation was a lie and apparently just to tell us we had the food package – obviously…
We were outside, on level 14, mid way through our first game of adventure mini golf (which ended in a draw) as we left Southampton, little did we realise that the ship horn was going to go and we were as close to it as we could be. To say we hadn’t appreciated just how loud it was is an understatement.
Back in the cabin we unpacked, realising we may have overpacked slightly…Oh and Enrique had made a visit and left us a note about having to change our escape room booking.
Dinner at Chops Grille was good after a change of table, the uncomfortable low bench was a good excuse to move further away from the loud woman at the next table proclaiming that she couldn’t possibly eat the spicy crab, whilst polishing the whole lot off.
Their idea of bacon as a starter left a lot to be desired as it was essentially a slab of greasy, fatty pork but the steak was amazing. Vikki made the wrong choice of pudding – key lime meringue pie with nothing resembling meringue on it at all! Steve made better choices (or perhaps is just less fussy) and enjoyed all three courses.
After dinner we got changed and had our first jacuzzi on the ship in the dark – it was very hot (Steve survived and his skin didn’t melt), bubbly and quiet, just a shame it was overcast and we couldn’t see the stars.
We ended our first night watching some pretty bad karaoke and then an even worse comedian…Vikki fell asleep and Steve didn’t crack a smile!
Day 2
Cruising day
The day started with a bit of a lie in and a delicious breakfast, everything you could imagine to choose from and Vikki fell in love with the freshly cooked waffles with berry puree. We declined the sticky iced doughnuts that the waiter offered us and discovered much to our disappointment that we were in for a week of horrible American coffee.
Now to fully explore the ship’s activities…Never did we think we’d be trampolining, outside, in a howling gale, in the middle of the North Sea, squashing gingerbread men and flaming robots but that’s exactly what we did on the Sky Pad! Good fun, a great work out on the thighs but unfortunately a bit of VR motion sickness for Steve. Also felt a bit sorry for the staff as it was so cold their hands had gone numb!
Another game of windy adventure mini golf, this time Vikki managed to get a hole in one and won the game over all.
Working up a thirst with the golf we went to get a juice and discovered that the fine gin selection on the ship was actually included in our drinks package. Much to Vikki’s delight that included Whitely Neill Blood Orange.
Lunch at the pizza place was ok, made a bit more entertaining by the fat kid trying to push in the queue and the American lady having none of it at all!
After lunch it was Flo rider time…after getting thick fleece blankets for afterwards, signing our lives away in a waiver (after Steve ran all the way back to the room, down 13 levels and at the opposite end of the ship, for the second sea pass) and discovering that if it was 1 degree colder (it was a bracing 10 degrees) they would have to shut the ride we were ready…what could possibly go wrong?
Steve went first and made it look pretty effortless, Vikki followed and made it look not effortless at all, entertaining all the onlookers! Oh and because we are gluttons for punishment we then followed the flo rider with a quick slide down the flumes – oh my word the North Sea wind is cold when you’re climbing an outdoor high spiral staircase soaking wet. Vikki beat Steve down both of them but apparently it was the t-shirt slowing him down…
While testing out all the water activities it would have been rude not to have a quick dip in the pool and then thaw out in the steamy hot, outdoor jacuzzi with a G&T and a beer whilst watching crazy people in soapbox races. We then got back to our room to discover a bottle of Prosecco and some chocolates had been delivered from the travel agents.
Working together with a family of four from the Isle of Wight (well not sure the teenage boy contributed too much) and we got out of the escape room with 2mins 24seconds to spare. Can honestly say we never thought we would use the periodic table of elements to spell out unicorn, walrus, shark and coyote.
Vikki was getting a bit hangry but a smoked salmon bagel and some gin tasting soon put that right – blood orange (still Vikki’s favourite), rhubarb and ginger (Steve liked, Vikki not so sure) and cucumber and aloe (wouldn’t have it again).
It turned out that despite being told there were no formal nights, it was formal night. We didn’t have true formal wear but still dressed up and looked great for dinner at Geovanni’s where Vikki had basically the same meal as the previous night and we ended up sat next to a slightly plumper Sandra Tipton!
While all dressed up we had a photo shoot up on the deck…smart dress plus winter coats to stay warm while setting up the shots and then whipping them off for the photos – the coats that is!
We finished off the day, packing for Hamburg and then watching the Invitation to Dance show.
Day 3
We woke up docked in Hamburg and decided try the A La Carte breakfast. Turns out that seasonal fruit platter really means every kind of melon imaginable and a slice of pineapple and after asking for any fruit other than melon we got a whole plate of pineapple and a banana!
Steve walked downstairs in the dining room to the help yourself breakfast and came back with a bowl of peach, strawberries, blackberries and oranges – clearly Vikki’s palette isn’t a la carte!
After breakfast we headed off to meet for our Alternative Bike Tour – Hamburg And Street Art excursion and to spend the day in Hamburg. We did so much it’s got a page of it’s own here!
After a fun day in Hamburg we enjoyed some time in the adult only pool and jacuzzi with a beer and G&T, being all grown up…or maybe photo bombing a couple’s photo while in there…
An asian dining experience in Izumi for dinner, where we joined a table with a plasterer who was on holiday 2 of 7 this year and a couple who were on their 34th cruise on the Independence of the Seas ship! A very fun evening including a singing chef, utensil juggling, eggs from Jurassic Park, a baby dinosaur, egg tossing and flipping egg into mouths – success for Steve but four unsuccessful attempts for Vikki.
Stir fry vegetables, more rice than you could ever eat, lobster and shrimp (for Steve), steak (for the third night in a row for Vikki) and bottomless glasses of beer and wine. Vikki even got extra steak and freshly made garlic butter after the chef gave some of hers to the plasterer by accident.
A fantastic meal finished off with asian ice cream…chocolate, mango and the most disgusting ice cream ever, green tea!
Off to the theatre after dinner to watch The Take That Experience, which was brilliant. Vikki sang her heart out to every song but did feel like perhaps the majority of the audience were a bit before Take That’s time. Oh and they had the tallest Mark Owen ever, he should have danced on his knees!
We finished off day 3 with a drink in the bar at the top of the ship watching some rather dodgy karaoke and admiring the view as we left Hamburg behind.
Day 4
Cruising day
All the activities and a fun day in Hamburg caught up with us and we had a lazy, lazy, lazy morning, we only just made it to breakfast and it didn’t finish until 11am! Despite the glorious sun the day before the window seat we got at breakfast gave us a glorious view of…grey! A fighter jet flew past while we were eating and we were able to spot it so it wasn’t as bad as earlier in the week!
We were so lazy we missed the Mr and Mrs Competition and the hip hop lesson, however we did watch a bit of the art auction. Who knew people paid lots of money to go on a cruise to then spend thousands on pieces of art – one went for over $9000!
After lunch, with a slightly less grey view, Steve did the climbing walls. He made it up all three that he attempted and rang the bells but slo-mo video wasn’t quite required!
Next up was the third round of adventure golf of the trip, just as windy as the previous two, with Steve winning this time. We then walked our way round the outdoor deck and headed to the front of the ship (or should I say we were blown round the deck).
We were all set to go play laser tag but when we got there and the queue was over an hour long we went for plan B instead – G&T and a line dancing class! Line dancing was an experience, made slightly more complicated by the fact that the teacher was struggling with left and right and some of the participants knew more of the dance moves than her!
Since there was a casino onboard we decided to play a little black jack. Steve got off to a good start with his first hand being a Queen and an ace, his luck continued but Vikki let the side down!
We stopped when we were $20 up (little thanks to Vikki), cashed in our chips and headed to the cocktail bar.
Having been told that only drinks up to $13 were included in our package we decided to treat ourselves to a $14 dollar cocktail each – only to discover that all the cocktails were actually included in the package so cost us nothing.
First up we had a Flirtini (super yummy) and an Espresso Martini (very strong and complete with crunchy coffee beans), we then we tried an Apple Martini (complete with a cherry, not a slice of apple) and A Royal Old Fashioned.
The Royal Old Fashioned wasn’t very nice at all which was probably a good thing as Steve didn’t get much of a chance to drink it before Vikki literally poured the Apple Martini down her front.
Cocktails abandoned, we made a swift exit to walk through the ship back to the room with Vikki looking like she had wet herself.
After cleaning Vikki up we enjoyed a lovely dinner at Giovanni’s (Vikki had bolognese not steak for the 4th night in a row), although it was tarnished slightly by Mr Snorty who was driving Steve mad!
We headed to the theatre to watch Grease, got a seat and wondered why it was so quiet…then discovered it had been postponed as Danny Zuko fell ill after the first performance of the night. Thankfully we weren’t one of the people who’d been queuing for over an hour before being told it was cancelled.
We finished off the day with drinks in the Olive and Twist followed by the Crazy Quest. Vikki narrowly avoided being team captain due to high heeled shoes and tights. A hilarious hour involving woman taking off bras and men being dressed and made up as ladies! Not a bad effort from team 2 and we came overall second.
Day 5
We woke up docked in Oslo, had a leisurely wake up and breakfast. Steve bumped into someone from our bike tour in Hamburg who said she had seen us by the pool the previous day and had thought I was Steve’s daughter! Unsure if it was a compliment to me, an insult to Steve or both we headed off to meeting up for our On foot with ice bar excursion and to spend the day in Oslo. We had so much fun and did so much it’s got a page of it’s own here!
After really fun day in Oslo we were back on the ship with 10minutes to spare and watched as we set sail again to see if there were any last minute stragglers left at the port – disappointingly we didn’t see any mad dashes!
We went to get a drink and much to Steve’s delight, after not being very impressed with the beers on the ship up till now, when he asked for a beer in a bar we hadn’t been to before he got a brewdog!
After our flutter in the casino yesterday we decided to go back for a lesson. Well…who knew quite how complicated Craps was and when we asked questions we were made to feel a bit silly – thankfully we weren’t the only confused people round the table!
Next up we attempted a murder mystery challenge, it was good fun but very very cryptic and hard. We solved several of the puzzles but ran out of time and failed miserably to identify the criminals.
We felt a bit better when we realise no one in the room solved and and actually in all the few years of running it only 3 teams had ever managed to solve it!
Fancying a bit of fresh air we decided to brave the winds and with literally no idea what we were doing we decided to play a bit of shuffle board out on deck. It took a good few tries to get the ‘push’ level right, Vikki under pushing and Steve sending the weights shooting way off the end of the board! Steve picked it up quickly and mastered shunting Vikki’s weights into the minus 10 points zone winning all the games.
Whilst wrapped up and in the wind we had another round of adventure mini golf, no holes in one this time and yet another draw.
We had dinner at our ‘assigned’ table in the main dining room, our table companions were a couple who we assume were married (although Vikki would have put money on the man being gay) and an uncle and nephew. Vikki was so pleased when Steve asked how they knew each other because she couldn’t work out the relationship!
The food wasn’t great, Steve’s chicken wasn’t as flavoursome as he would have like and Vikki’s steak pie was absolutely disgusting. Flat soggy pastry, cold and the inside was literally like a gravy jelly. The pork it was replaced with was quite nice. One of the guys on the table (the nephew) clearly didn’t share our opinions on the food as he polished off three different main courses!
We finished off the night watching a Confusionist show which Vikki enjoyed more than sceptical Steve!
Day 6
Cruising day
We woke up to a beautiful sunny day and an amazing view out our state room window.
While enjoying a nice leisurely breakfast, next to the chattiest couple ever, we realised (and were amazed by) the number of couples on the ship who we saw sitting together for a meal and who literally didn’t say a word to each other throughout it.
After breakfast we had a very lazy morning before it was Flo Rider time again. Vikki’s knee was still so raw and sore from the first time that Steve was on his own this time and Vikki was on camera duty.
This time the instructor was on at a the same time giving hints and tips and Steve did even better getting up onto his knees several times, however he also entertained Vikki and the other on lookers with a pretty spectacular wipe out.
After Flo Rider is would have been rude not to thaw out in the toasty jacuzzi with a G&T and a Brewdog. Although while Steve was getting the drinks Vikki was nearly drowned when a very large American woman sat on her in the jacuzzi!
Lunch came to an abrupt end when we realised we were late for the ice show, we snuck in 10mins late and there were no seats so we watched the show sitting on the stairs.
Considering how small the ice rink was the show was very impressive with only one fall but several slips and near misses – none of which were of the violinist who walked on the ice several times in very high heels! Steve recognised two of the skaters and it turned out to be Alex and Lucasz from Dancing on Ice.
Making the most of the beautiful weather we walked round the ship getting photos showing it at it’s best…well Vikki may have had a wee rest in a hammock while the photographer was at work.
While doing a video walk around the inside to try and show the immense size of the ship we discovered a queue had started outside the theatre for the performance of Grease. We joined the queue and waited, which ended up being for no reason as there were plenty of seats. The show was great and we really enjoyed it although we did have to swap seats after Vikki managed to knock Steve’s beer all over herself and the seats.
Back to Izumi for dinner with a different chef and a smaller group, just us and one other couple. Vikki particularly liked them as they said she didn’t look older enough to have an 11 year old daughter…but Steve did! However they were surprised at Steve’s age and said he wore it well so not all bad!
The meal was as fun and good as the last time, including egg tossing, missing and splatting on the floor and this time Vikki caught the egg first time in her mouth…as Steve wasn’t filming so missed it!
After dinner we went out on deck to watch the most beautiful sunset (along with half of the people on board the ship), at least we got one evening when we could see the sunset!
We finished off the day with a drink at the Schooner bar, a dance on the Royal Promenade (with a wee bit of The Proclaimers) and then wrapped up for a bit of star gazing. Well unfortunately it was more like star hunting but we did spot a few.
Oh and we tried to get someone to take a photo of us and people kept just saying no to Steve, turns out they all thought he was a ship photographer and was wanting to take their photo!
Day 7
We woke up docked in Zeebrugge to a very early 6am alarm for our last day. We were up so early all but one of the dining rooms were still closed. After breakfast we headed off to meet up for our Bruges Sightseeing & Free Time excursion. A great day, albeit with a rather stressful end, we did so much it’s got a page of its own here.
After a stressful end to a lovely day off the ship we relaxed enjoying the beautiful weather with ice cream, G&T and brewdog by the pool. After the early start a snooze in the sun was the order of the afternoon. Oh and when the waiter came round offering cocktails it would have been rude to refuse so we had one of them each too!
We enjoyed another game of adventure golf with another hole in one for Vikki and yet another draw. As we were leaving Bruges making it a final overall draw across all the games, although one person did get two hole in ones…
Oh and we were up the top again when the horns went because a small yacht wasn’t moving, we jumped (again) but not as big a jump as the poor baby that was up there!
Our last evening was a great one, before dinner we played ping pong out on the deck – the winds made for some entertainment when the ball was rolling / blowing on the ground and then we watched Mick Miller’s comedy show (a vast improvement on the comedian from the first night!) and the ship’s farewell.
After a final (and very nice) dinner at Chops Grille we decided we couldn’t be bothered to pack and instead went outside for our last jacuzzi of the trip which was hot, bubbly and peaceful as we had it to ourselves (it was dusk when we got in and dark by the time we got out!) We ended the night with drinks and a last trip to the theatre to watch the late night comedy act, Damien Clark.
Day 8
Back to reality – Disembarking at Southampton
An early wake up with the noise of docking back in Southampton, a quick throw everything in the cases pack, final breakfast and it was time to disembark and get back to reality.
An absolutely fantastic adventure, so much fun and so many memories made. One day we will go on another cruise, although probably not in the North Sea! And next time we will be better prepared with our lessons learnt…
- Cruise state room showers are most definitely not made for two
- If you don’t like the answer to a question just ask someone else and you’re guaranteed to get a different answer
- Be prepared to have random animals in your room (maybe even wearing your sunglasses)
- People just assume you are married
- It’s far easier to fall over your own feet on a cruise ship
- Lift races become a part of daily life
- The doors inside a state room make a fantastic booby trap maze
- If you lose track of the days just look on the floor of the lifts
However, the mysteries remain as to what happened to studio A and why there were two red men at the crossings in Oslo…
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