Monday 5th – Sunday 11th August 2024

After our little taster weekend back in March (where we basically played van-life trial run), we bit the bullet and committed to a full-blown 7-day European road trip.

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The original plan was simple: pick up the van at 2:30pm, pootle down to Dover, sleep somewhere nearby, and catch an early ferry in the morning like responsible grown-ups.

Buuuut lucky for us, no one had booked the van before us, so we got to collect it at 9:30am instead. That meant the whole “stay in the UK overnight” plan was swiftly binned, and we aimed straight for France instead.

Van loaded, snacks packed (okay fine, thrown in haphazardly), and off we went. The drive to Dover was smooth sailing – barely any traffic and all good. We arrived just in time to *miss* a ferry, classic. But silver lining: we were rebooked onto the next one with a couple of hours to kill. Time to properly organise the van (aka move things from one pile to another) and sneak in a cheeky snack.

Once we finally rolled onto the ferry, we headed straight for the Premium Lounge – and it turned out we were the only ones in there. An entire lounge to ourselves stocked with wine, juice, sandwiches, and cake. Not even exaggerating, it was a glorious 90 minutes of pure lounge luxury.

Because we were first on the ferry, we were also first off – van-life perks! We cruised on towards campsite numero uno, with a quick supermarket pitstop to stock up on the essentials (aka wine and burgers). Rolled up to the site by 8pm. There was a bit of a mix-up over our pitch (mild chaos, some pointing, a bit of shrugging), but all resolved quickly.

Van set up, fairy lights twinkling, and tea was served: burgers, beer, wine, and a few fiercely competitive rounds of Quirkle. The European adventure had officially begun — and day one? Nailed it.

Day 2 – France, Belgium & Luxembourg

The day kicked off quite literally with a crack – not from the eggs or the knees, but from Steve breaking the driver’s seat arm while climbing into the van’s pod roof bed. Who needs an alarm clock when you have the sound of mild destruction at 7am? A quick Google revealed it’s practically a rite of passage in these vans, so at least we’re not alone.

Despite the minor breakage, it was a nice relaxed start – coffee and orange juice al fresco while pretending we were living our best campsite influencer lives. The good vibes took a slight dip with a visit to the site’s facilities. No toilet seats, no toilet paper, and shower cubicles designed by someone who hates comfort. Tiny cubicles, no hooks, no shelves, and showers operated by one of those pull cord mechanisms – the kind that feels charming for about three seconds before becoming deeply irritating.

We packed up like seasoned pros (ish) and hit the road for Luxembourg, aiming to stop somewhere in Belgium for lunch. But first: a detour to the shops for some very important items – wine, peach syrup (priorities), and a chopping board… which Vikki would later find out we already had. Classic.

On the road again, we briefly paused for Steve to “commune with nature” by the roadside (aka an urgent countryside wee), then rolled into Mons for lunch. A surprisingly lovely little town where Steve demolished a bowl of mussels and Vikki wrestled with a suspiciously dry piece of chicken. Accompanied, of course, by wine and beer. Moved tables halfway through to escape the sun and finished with ice cream and sorbet.

The drive to the Luxembourg site was smooth… until 10 minutes before arrival when we almost had a full-blown accident. A proper adrenaline spike that had us both holding our breath. Thankfully, we arrived in one piece at a beautiful site – calm, green, and exactly what we needed. Set up was quick, and thanks to the magic of free public transport in Luxembourg (seriously, why doesn’t everyone do this?!), we hopped on a bus into the city.

Bit of a wander around the capital, soaking up that relaxed Luxembourgish energy, before heading back to the van. Steve whipped up a risotto for tea, washed down with wine and beer (as tradition now dictates). We tried to be social and check out the site bar at 9:30pm… only to find it was closing. Rude. So we headed back to the van for a game of Quirkle and an early night. Rock and roll.

Day 3 – Luxembourg, Germany & Switzerland 🇱🇺🇩🇪🇨🇭

We were up bright and early, fuelled by a quick coffee and bite of breakfast before packing up and saying goodbye to Luxembourg. This site redeemed itself slightly with better showers (no pull-cord nonsense!), but gave us a scavenger hunt when it came to finding bins. There was also a mildly ridiculous 10-minute episode involving how to put the camping chairs back into the boot compartment (spoiler: it wasn’t how we were doing it), and it turned out we were using the wrong key for the water refill. Pro-level campers, clearly.

Once we were finally sorted and on the road, Steve learned a valuable life lesson: the big friendly blue P sign does not mean Petrol. Nope. That’s Parking. A helpful distinction, especially when you’re on fumes and heading deeper into Germany.

Speaking of Germany, we lunched like the true road trip pros we now are – in the Lidl car park. Bought some supplies, rolled into a spot, and boom: lunch was served at our very own table, cooked in our very own kitchen, in a glamorous setting of… well, Lidl. Still counts.

After lunch, we hopped on a bus into Baden-Baden for a quick explore. Only it turned out to be very quick – like, blink-and-you-miss-it quick – because we suddenly realised we had a deadline for check-in at our next campsite… in Switzerland. Cue mad dash back to the van and a race across borders.

We arrived with just enough time to discover the Peach Syrup Catastrophe – yep, the bottle had gone rogue. It had tipped over during the drive and slowly oozed its sweet, sticky contents over the cupboards, inside the cupboards, through the cupboards, and eventually all over the floor. The syrup had basically done a full tour of the van.

Too hungry to cry, we ditched clean-up duty and opted for dinner by the lake. Much better life choice. Once fed, we tackled the syrup crime scene – Vikki going full deep clean while Steve set up camp. We considered a dip in the lake, but it was dark, cold, and had strong “nope” vibes, so drinks and a good ol’ game of Quirkle won out instead. Classic end to a sticky day!

Day 4 – Switzerland & Austria 🇨🇭🇦🇹

Woken far too early – not by an alarm, but by our snoring campsite neighbour who clearly moonlights as a chainsaw. Managed to hold out until 7:17am, but that snore-symphony was going strong. Grrr.

Started the day the right way with strong coffee and fresh croissants smothered in butter and jam. Also, shoutout to this site’s bathrooms – they were actual heaven. Like, *spa-level* fancy.

Forecast said clouds and rain, but we said, “Let’s cycle to Austria!” Naturally. The cycle paths were mostly brilliant, with just a few loons on two wheels, and a minor detour where Vikki cheerfully followed a random man thinking it was Steve!

Halfway through, chocolate stop – obviously essential. Then just as we crossed the Austrian border, the heavens opened. Perfect timing really, because we darted straight into a cosy café for hot apple strudel, ice cream, and a glass of red. Rain? What rain?

By the time we headed back, the skies had cleared. The cycle back was warmer and we found the perfect picnic spot – lakeside view, sandwiches, and legs that were starting to feel that 45km round trip.

Back at camp, quick change then straight to the lake for a dip. Supposedly 26°C, but it felt like glacial splash zone. Still, we swam out to a platform and over to a giant inflatable, where Steve absolutely launched Vikki (and some poor unsuspecting child) off a big cushion into the water.

Back to the van for a refresh (read: a decent shower) then gin and relaxation for Vikki, while Steve wrestled with satellite positioning and the TV. The TV falling out the van probably didn’t help. Eventually gave up. Wise choice.

Dinner was basically half a cow, and Vikki was still hungry enough to finish Steve’s too. Ended the evening with drinks and Quirkle by (fake) candlelight by the lake – very romantic until Vikki fell asleep during the evening TV session back in the van. Living the dream.

Day 5 – Switzerland & France

Day kicked off strong with breakfast and coffee (priorities), then we packed up and hit the road around 10am. Destination? The place dreams are made of: Maestrani Chocolate Factory. YES PLEASE.

SO. MUCH. CHOCOLATE. We’re talking samples everywhere and actual taps of melted chocolate. Forget water features – this is the future. We left with suspiciously bulging pockets.

High on sugar and happiness, we made our way to Rhine Falls – Europe’s most powerful waterfall, apparently. First things first, chips and samosas in the shade while waiting for the boat. Then, onto the boat and whoosh – straight up to the waterfall, with bonus spray in the face. Totally worth it.

Post-falls adventure, we hit the road again and made our way to the next campsite near Colmar. Slight hiccup – the pitch wasn’t exactly riverside luxury like we’d imagined. More like… squished-between-trees realness. But, hey, it worked out fine.

It was a bit late to play chef, so we went to the onsite restaurant. Much to Vikki’s great displeasure, they were only serving pizza. Just pizza. The grump was real, but hunger won in the end. A quick unpack and then it was feet up and a fairly early night – probably dreaming of chocolate taps and boat spray.

Day 6 – France

Another solid sleep in the van pod and we were up and out for a stroll to the local bakery for brekkie. Turns out the French don’t just make pastries – they sugar-coat them too. Pain au chocolat with a crunchy sugar top?!

Bikes out and we cycled into charming Colmar, with a lunch stop on the cards. Poke bowls = excellent choice. The same couldn’t be said for our neighbours, who got an extra *live* protein with their salad – yes, a slug. Mmmm…

We wandered through the picture-perfect Little Venice, explored the covered market and snapped all the pretty streets. Then hit up a food shop before heading back for some quality time by the pool.

Now, this wasn’t just any pool break – it was an adventure. After three round trips back to the van to collect *all the things* we forgot (towels, books, drinks, souls…), we were finally settled. The water? Let’s call it invigorating. More lounging and light snoozing than actual swimming, but we’ll count it as exercise.

Before heading back, we dipped our toes (and more) into the massive shallow river by the site. Picturesque, but the riverbed was basically a stone massage for your feet – minus the relaxation.

Back at base, Steve was all prepped for dinner until Vikki launched a gin across the back of the van – classy. A quick clean-up, and we were back on track with a delicious risotto for tea, followed by some smug organisation in prep for a long day ahead.

Day 7 – France & England

After six nights in the van and countless kilometres under the wheels, we allowed ourselves a well-earned lie-in – 8.45am, thank you very much. Breakfast was the usual European carb fest: one pretzel, one croissant, and one slow, sleepy start to the day.

Then began the mega mission north – an epic drive all the way up through France to Calais. Originally we planned to stay near the port and get the ferry in the morning, but nope! Decision made: let’s just power through and get ourselves home.

The ferry wait wasn’t too bad, but the lounge was absolutely heaving. Vikki took full advantage of the ‘free’ wine (basically the highlight of the day), while poor Steve stuck with juice like the responsible designated driver he is.

The crossing flew by (for Vikki at least – she was drinking wine for most of it), and after rolling off the ferry, she slept in the passenger seat all the way back to Steve’s.

And just like that, the European road trip was done! Seven days, 6 countries, one van, and a million memories. And probably still a bit of peach syrup lurking somewhere…

7 Days, 6 Countries, 1 Van, and Endless Chaos 🚐

From ferry lounges to falling TVs, lake swims to syrup explosions — our whirlwind 7-day European road trip had everything. We hit the road early, ditched the UK stopover, and found ourselves sipping wine in an empty premium ferry lounge before even making it to campsite #1.

Luxembourg brought us broken van seats, mysterious showers, and an almost-collision 10 minutes from our pitch. Belgium? Dry chicken and scenic squares. Germany gave us Lidl car park lunches and a peach syrup massacre so dramatic it should’ve had its own warning sign.

Switzerland served up lakeside swims, inflatable chaos, and cycle missions to Austria with strudel stops and wrong turns (and Vikki accidentally following a random man instead of Steve). We chomped chocolate straight from taps, got drenched by Rhine Falls, and played Quirkle in more countries than most people have stamps in their passport.

France finished us off with riverside paddles, sluggate in Colmar, and a final 45,000-hour drive north to the ferry. Vikki slept most of the way home. Steve, the legend, drove. Obviously.

Seven days, six countries, 1,350+ km, one very confused GPS, and memories that’ll last longer than the sticky residue of peach syrup in the cupboard. Europe, you’ve been wild. 🚐✨🇫🇷🇱🇺🇩🇪🇨🇭🇦🇹