Monkeyless World & Corfe Castle

Published by Vikki Paterson on 23/05/2021

Friday 21st – Sunday 23rd May

Day 1

Not the quickest weekend away we’ve ever book but we got it booked eventually and off to Warminster we went. A rainy drive started off what turned out to be a very rainy weekend. Very uneventful drive, with only rather abrupt wee stop for Steve.

We arrived at The Dove Inn, parked up and got to know the building quite well as we walked round it a couple ofttimes trying to find the way in. After being attacked by the rogue sanitiser squirting station we checked in and headed up to our room.

Lovely big airy room with lamas out the back and Stanley the Scottish reindeer watching over the room, however there were less than ideal coffee facilities (but there were biscuits and chocolates) and the mirrored shower wall was a unique quirk that took a bit of getting used to!

We went down to the pub for pudding and a drink, Steve wasn’t too impressed with the beer options and despite deciding he would like the cheeseboard he ordered and ate apple crumble but other than that it was great!

Back in the room and we discovered the TV had no BBC channels or Channel 4 which was a bit random but we needed to get that fixed to watch Eurovision glory the following night… Friday ended with a mysterious TV channel switching battle and a hilarious Siri alarm conversation.

Day 2

Very soft pillows led to a not great nights sleep and a rather early start. When you have had a bad sleep and an early start what is really needed is a lovely cup of coffee…which we absolutely didn’t get…Vikki didn’t even bother with the instant Nescafe in the room, Steve made some but swiftly gave up on actually drinking it!

We headed down for breakfast where “continental buffet” was stretching it a bit as there was a single table with juice, yoghurt and some single portion cereal boxes!! The guy serving was proud to tell us they brewed their own coffee so we ordered two along with our cooked breakfast …only to be hugely disappointed with the coffee.

Steve was keen to go to Gold Hill, the setting for the famous Hovis advert, so famous that Vikki was completely unaware of it and had to be educated courtesy of You Tube! Despite the sat nav trying to send us to Massachusetts we managed to redirect to the right place, via a coffee stop!

Having decided that he wanted to re-enact the Hovis advert Steve decided to film Vikki walking slowly up the hill, the guy at the bottom of the hill laughing and providing the “music” for the video made it all the more entertaining! The second take, with the microphone actually turned on, was more successful.

Next we decided where better to go on a wet and windy day than the beach, so off to Weymouth beach we headed. Lots of rain and quite a lot of windy horrible roads and we were there, the view was nice but not quite as picturesque as it should have been for end of May given the dark clouds.

Shortly after arriving the heavens opened so it ended up being a short and soggy visit! A quick walk in the pouring rain followed by fish and chips (or chips and gravy for Vikki) hiding under a sun parasol trying to avoid the rain bouncing off the table.

Next we headed to Dorchester to hopefully dry out and warm up with coffee and cake. Didn’t take too long but there was a slight diversion or two which apparently weren’t getting lost but conducting uber house research!

A bit like Weymouth it was a brief visit consisting mainly of Steve jumping the queue in the coffee shop and the cakes definitely not being award winning but we did manage to see that well known landmark The Istanbul Grill! Finished up with a trip down memory lane for Steve by popping in past the hospital, where he left a souvenir from the bottom of the car on one of the speed bumps!

Heading back to the hotel we were lucky enough to detour past another well known, famous landmark…the Signal museum!

When we got back to the room the TV was still missing the BBC channels so the resident technical expert, otherwise known as the chef, arrived to fix it. As with all experts his modus operandi was to turn it off and on again…which unsurprisingly didn’t make a difference!!

In the end Google was our friend and Steve managed to reset the Sky box and all missing channels magically appeared and the not-so-technical chef gave us two rounds of drinks for free for the inconvenience!

The sun was now shining and our dinner booking wasn’t for an hour or so so we decided to enjoy an outdoor drink…sadly the sun was an illusion and it was absolutely freezing.

Dinner was lovely, if not a little hectic. Lots of apologies from the staff and a few mishaps including missing sauce for Steve and invisible water for Vikki!

Unimpressed with the beer selection Steve had bought a couple to have in the room after tea, with no fridge he was cooling them in the sink…which would have been more effective if there was actually water in the sink!

For a second time in the day google saved the day teaching us how to open a bottle with a key and we could watch the second half of Eurovision with beer and wine in bed. Not that is was worth watching.

Day 3

A better nights sleep, but again a morning that started way too early for a Sunday and we were straight down to breakfast, no messing about with the instant coffee this morning! We got our hopes up for a good coffee second time round when we were offered a cappuccino…only to receive the most mind blowing strong coffee we’ve ever encountered!

After checking out we headed to Monkey World, or should I say Monkey-less world! Sadly the monkeys were all as unimpressed with the terrible weather as us and were all hiding inside so it was a short but wet visit – bit of a recurring theme!

Next up was Wareham, where apparently the best way to Wareham is on your head or your feet! Here, for the first time in what feels like forever, we were able to spontaneously get a pub lunch and even managed a table inside! Roast for Vikki, burger for Steve and we were ready for the afternoon.

The rain was so heavy we had to have the roof up as we headed to Corfe Castle, it started to ease off lulling us into a false sense of security and by the time we arrived and walked up to the castle, the heavens had opened and the wind had picked up. Not sure we saw the castle at it’s finest and we got well and truly soaked – another wet landmark to add to our soggy weekend!

We finished the day with a coffee and cake (or cream tea in Steve’s case) at the cafe in a (failed) attempt to dry out!